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CHEWING GUM HELPS STUDENTS WITH MATH

FOX NEWS OPINION:  Ellis Henican August 4, 2011   www.foxnews.com Just in time for back-to-school, here comes the Bazooka Boost. According to a new study in the brainy Journal of Adolescence, eighth-graders who chew gum during math class and homework time score higher on standardized tests than their empty-mouthed classmates. Take that, Assistant Principal Lockjaw! How…

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DEBT TALKS PARALYZED BY POLITICS—WHAT NEXT?

“Just dithering on the debt ceiling”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, July 30, 2011 If it’s this hard to raise the debt ceiling, how can Washington even think of solving real problems? That’s the next question we’ll get to face, once this debt-limit fiasco is finally behind us — and not a minute too soon. What…

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THE GENIUS OF AIR CONDITIONING

  “Too hot to care about anything except A/C”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, July 24, 2011 It’s been said that people actually lived around here in the days before air conditioning. That could well be true. But here’s the question that no one’s been able to answer: Why on Earth would they want to?  Have you…

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LEADERS PROCRASTINATE JUST LIKE THE REST OF US

“Oficials’ procrastination reflects ours”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, July 17, 2011 Life, liberty — the pursuit of procrastination: Doesn’t anyone do anything without a deadline anymore? Not so you’d notice in Washington, not this weekend anyway. Not as President Obama and the supposed grown-ups in the House and Senate tussle endlessly over lifting the debt…

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IN THE SUBURBS IT’S ALL ABOUT JOBS, JOBS, JOBS

“Suburban focus now jobs, not real-estate”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, July 10, 2011 All stories in the suburbs, it’s been said, are eventually real-estate stories. People moving from the city. Houses, roads, schools and malls. Neighbors turning up at public meetings to declare: “Not in my backyard!” This has been especially true on Long Island,…

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DSK CASE COLLAPSES INTO A ‘HE SAID-SHE SAID’

“DSK rape case now in doubt”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, July 3, 2011 What if the accuser isn’t telling the truth? That troubling possibility has now elbowed its way into the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case. He, of course, is the IMF chief and almost-candidate for president of France who’s been charged with sexually assaulting a housekeeper…

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LONG ISLAND’S PHARMACY MASSACRE – A TALE OF DRUGS AND DEVOTION

  “Reeling from a senseless act of violence”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, June 16, 2011 He did it for love and addiction. That’s what investigators seem to be saying now. They’re saying that David Laffer robbed Haven Drugs in Medford, stuffing 10,000 hydrocodone pills in his knapsack and taking four innocent lives, to feed his…

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HERE COMES THE BRIDE — WITH HER BRIDE

“Change coming on gay marriage in NY”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, June 19, 2011 Clearly, the moment has arrived in New York. — One by one, Republican senators are coming around on gay marriage. And it isn’t the rhetoric of equality or any constitutional argument that has swayed most of them. It’s politics – and…

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HIZZONER ALEC BALDWIN, NYC MAYOR

“Baldwin for NYC mayor? No Kidding”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, June 12, 2011 Alec Baldwin’s campaign for mayor must be serious. He’s just snagged the endorsement of Chevy Chase. Who says politics is predictable and dull? Just two weeks ago, Anthony Weiner was the presumptive favorite to replace Mike Bloomberg. The boyishcongressman had outer-boroughs chutzpah.…

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A SEXT IS FOREVER

“There’s no delete button on the internet”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, June 5, 2011 We keep teaching this lesson to the children, then refusing to learn it ourselves. You know the lesson I mean: The Internet is everywhere and forever. We say, kiddies, keep those Spring Break photos off of Facebook. We say no bong…

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