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“NY teams sure left us feeling less that super” Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, February 6, 2011

We’re not there.

No matter how loud the pre-game hype may get, no matter how exciting we pretend Green Bay and Pittsburgh are, no matter how many QB profiles we read about Roethlisberger and Rodgers, the Jets and the Giants aren’t in the Super Bowl this year.

And that’s a fact that on a day like this one is simply impossible to ignore.

The Jets got close and blew it. The Giants – don’t even get me started on that. Half the players on both teams are where they deserve to be now, out on a golf course. Steelers? Packers? Old teams from cold places, who won some football games! What else do you need to know?

Here are some statistics someone on Long Island really ought to gather this year: How many people are watching the commercials? How many people are just there for the party food? How many people are watching the game? Despite the heavy buildup, don’t bet too heavily on “watching the game.”

It’s not like the Jets didn’t give us some things to talk about this season. Rex Ryan producing, directing and co-starring in foot-fetish soft-core porn videos. Sal Aliso tripping an opposing player. Ines Sainz being harassed in the locker room. Darrelle Revis refusing to show up for work. Braylon Edwards getting busted for drunken driving. And, it was a female Jets employee that Brett Favre was presumably sexting to.

Everything except winning quite enough games.

One day we’ll surely get past the sad comparisons to 1969. The best quote that year was Joe Namath’s, of course: “We’re gonna win this game. I guarantee it.”

One day, we’ll get past that.

The latest lingering quote from the not-quite-Super-Bowl-ready New York Jets? And this is embarrassing, but it had to come from a baseball great:

“Shut up, play football,” Reggie Jackson said.

ADS WE WON’T SEE

1. Victoria’s Secret Parka Bowl

2. E*Trade’s Silent Child

3. Budweiser’s Shetland Ponies

4. GoDaddy’s G-rated web sequel

5. BestBuy’s WorstBuys

ASKED AND UNANSWERED:

Still thinking of serving low-cal Super Bowl eats? How soon before kickoff will you finally accept the obvious? No one wants THAT!…When Nassau top cop Larry Mulvey said he’ll retire April 1, did he mean forever? He meant it last time, right?…Accused of threatening to kill an official at the National Futures Association? Can we agree that Long Beach securities dealer Vince McCrudden has a pretty bleak future himself right now?…Running over the cop’s foot after he gives you a traffic ticket? Be honest: You’ve never thought of doing what Nicholas Tsarkalis is accused of?….Hiding the problem will make it better? Is that the logic behind Steve Stern’s bill to ban YouTube kid-fighting videos?…When smoking is banned on LIRR platforms – and don’t worry, it will be – will train crews start yelling through the open doors: “Hey, you, put that out”?…With so many “major drug busts” on Long Island (“18 Charged on the East End”), how is it that drugs are just as plentiful as ever?…Don’t you get it? Why do you think TV news devotes so much time to the icy weather? On this diverse island, what else do we all have in common?

LONG ISLANDER OF THE WEEK:

Dr. Ronald Stair

With so many employees happy just to have a job these days, there hasn’t been much talk about giving back at work. Dr. Ronald Stair, president of Creative Plan Designs Ltd. in East Meadow, is convinced that charitable works are especially important in tough times. His novel idea? His workers get one paid day a month to help the charity of their choice. “I put my money where my mouth and my heart are,” he said. For his effort, he’s been handed the Alfred P. Sloan Award for Business Excellence in Workplace Flexibility from a business consortium that includes the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and the National Association of Mothers’ Centers. What would be a better prize? Other local companies copying the paid day for charity.