Official Website of Ellis Henican | REPUBLICAN RACE WAS FUN

“GOP prez race’s inevitable winner: Romney”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, April 1, 2012

That was fun. Too bad it’s over.

Oh, I know. The race for the Republican presidential nomination isn’t officially settled yet.

Rick Santorum could romp through Wisconsin on Tuesday, just like Newt Gingrich’s win-by-staying-home strategy could be just the Hail Mary pass he needs to score a brokered-convention victory in Tampa, Fla., the final week of August.

Could — but won’t.

Math is math, and momentum is momentum, even by the highly erratic standards of Republican presidential politics circa 2012. And this much is now impossible to contradict: Despite valiant efforts from his last, tenacious opponents, Mitt Romney is going to be the party’s nominee.

Seven months from now, he’ll be on the ballot opposite Barack Obama, and anyone who calls the race easily predictable hasn’t been paying close attention this year. Nothing in politics is easily predictable this year.

Otherwise, Gingrich would never have shot (even briefly) to the front of the Republican pack. Or Rick Perry. Or Michele Bachmann. Or Herman Cain. Nor would any of these insta-sprinters have fallen as swiftly as they rose. But there they were, at least for an instant, poll-confirmed contenders all.

Go figure.

And here’s the really strange thing, the truth that lingers even as the ever-steady Romney finally accepts what was probably always destined to be his: Democrats enjoyed the Republican ruckus far, far more than any Republicans did.

Now that it’s almost over — now that the final air is fading from the lingering pretenders, now that the party elders are warning nervously of damaging delay — can’t they all please find a way to extend the race some more?

GRAND OLD CLASSICS

1. Herman Cain Mutiny

2. Brave Newt World

3. The Adventures of Huckle Perry Finn

4. Ron Quixote

5. Mitt’s Summer Night’s Dream

THE NEWS IN SONG

Willie Nelson

“The Party’s Over”

And wouldn’t he know?

tinyurl.com/nomonomo

ASKED AND UNANSWERED

More revenue-generating red-light cameras? Is that Suffolk-ese for “We’re broke and we don’t have a clue who else to soak”?….More quiet cars are a start. But can the LIRR somehow create more quiet riders?…In the “circus like atmosphere” Steve Bellone says he created over his predecessor’s Suffolk budget practices, who are the high-flying trapeze artists? And who are the clowns?…IPod, iPad — iSue? Evelyn Paswall is demanding $1 million after walking into the glass door of the Manhasset Apple Store and breaking her 83-year-old nose…Why stop with street signs? State troopers charge William Richardson of Hempstead with trying to steal a light pole off the Meadowbrook State Parkway near Sunrise Highway…Of all the jabs he could have taken at Andrew Cuomo, Sheldon Silver and Dean Skelos, what made Brooklyn state Sen. Kevin Parker turn suddenly racial? “Three White guys in a room”? Can’t he think of any better I-feel-excluded insults?…The bipartisan host with the most? Chuck Schumer, maitre ’d of the 2013 presidential inauguration, even if the Republican wins?…How hard was Keith Olbermann to get along with? Current TV hired Eliot Spitzer to replace him!

LONG ISLANDERS OF THE WEEK

HONEST SENIORS

You didn’t cheat when you had the chance to. You took the SAT or ACT on nothing but your ability and your hard work. Then you lived with the scores you got. What would have been better? Selling your soul and going Ivy on a lie? Twenty current or former students, most from upscale families with dreams of brand-name colleges, allegedly made a different choice. They are already paying at the hands of Nassau District Attorney Kathleen Rice. But as the College Board and ACT Inc. put in a whole new regime of test-security measures, all the honest kids should not be forgotten here. They should be congratulated, even if they aren’t congratulating themselves. They are the ones who stood on their ability. They are the ones who stood for something right.