“Kiss This One Goodbye,” Ellis Henican Column, Newsday, September 6, 2009
Come Tuesday, things will all be different.
Come Tuesday, the unofficial end of summer, sanity will again prevail.
But for one last weekend, the silly season will still be with us. For one last, glorious weekend, summer will proudly reign.
Michael Jackson will refuse to leave the spotlight, dead or alive.
Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin impregnator and Vanity Fair hunk, won’t even think of slinking away. Chris Brown, the worst date ever, will keep explaining himself.
Good luck with that.
The tea partyers will party. Jon Gosselin will date. The White House green jobs czar will say something else incendiary on videotape. And the Taconic dad and his lawyer will keep offering more and more explanations for a devastating toxicology report.
You think this stuff would fly in October?
All this while agitated parents, with so much else to worry about, threaten to keep their children home from school, lest they be “indoctrinated” by the president’s call to study hard, stay in school and be kind.
Summer is wonderful. We are lucky it only comes around once a year.
Come Tuesday, the health care debate will move toward resolution, one way or another. Come Tuesday, the fall election season will begin. Come Tuesday, the pundit debates won’t be smart exactly. But they won’t be quite this dumb.
Come Tuesday, the kids will return for real to their studies. Come Tuesday, the grown-ups will be in charge again.
SUMMER’S NOT OVER
1. It’s just on furlough ’til the jobs picture improves.
2. It’s just on swine-flu quarantine.
3. It’s just ducking texts from Chris Brown.
4. It’s just tired of being called “the silly season.”
5. It’s just resting up for the Mets’ October surprise.
LOWING SMOKE: People in swank New Canaan in Connecticut are coughing mad over two brothers from Baldwin. Police say the brothers have been pressuring their victims with falsely dire chimney diagnoses, then performing thousands of dollars in unnecessary work.
ASKED AND UNANSWERED: What will Dr. Rap rap about next? Covering your mouth when you sneeze on the train? . . . Beside “no comment,” what was Sister Lauren Hanley supposed to say abotu her DWI arrest? Sister’s the spiritual — not spirits — director at St. Francis de Chantal in Wantagh…Why such buyer interest in Bernie Madoff’s Montauk manse? Does the house now have a special reverse-snobbery appeal? . . . With witnesses blaming “males age 17-20” for Thursday’s melee and stabbing at Elmont High, should detectives be interviewing seniors, graduates or freshment on the six-year plan?. . . What kind of hit man uses a screwdriver, even if his day job is “handyman”? DA says city cop Anthony Battisti of Franklin Square offered Timothy Gersbeck of Levittown money to kill ex-wife, Patricia Battisti . . . What made a woman think something was buried in the front yard of her childhood home in Hicksville. Cops found nothing. What kind of family stories had she heard? . . . When the LIRR gets Wi-Fi, will there be a special e-mail link for, “How come my train’s so late?” . . . With Chanel’s death at 21 (that’s 147 in canine years), who’s the oldest dog on LI now? Owners, check your papers . . . Did Spider-Man really try to block the Disney-Marvel merger? He was quoted as saying: “I’m a superhero! No way I’m working with some hyperventilating rat!” Only Hannah Montana could smooth everything out.
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