MARKET WATCH COLUMNIST
“A Hot and Heavy Christmas,” Ellis Henican Column, amNewYork, December
Hormones are raging this holiday season. As temperatures fall, passions are heating up.
Hot lesbian teacher sex in Brooklyn. Crazy billionaire
golfer sex everywhere. A major study at the University
of Minnesota has just concluded that young adults
who have casual sex are no worse off emotionally than
those who have sex in committed relationships. They just spend more time on
Facebook and Craigslist.
Actually, that last part wasn’t addressed in the study,
but you know it can’t be far off. In this tough economy, travel spending is still badly lagging. But guilt has taken a nice, long holiday.
Sen. Max Baucus admits nominating his girlfriend for U.S. attorney. The South Carolina Legislature decides not to impeach Luv-Guv Mark Sanford (R-Appalachian Tail). Family-values Sen. (and D.C. Madam boy-toy) David Vitter is far ahead in his Louisiana re-election polls.
Wait! Don’t sex scandals have penalties anymore? Even the embarrassment hardly counts. OK, except maybe for Tiger, whose icky sext messages have now been published everywhere. (Note to future billionaire philanderers: Hire a ghostwriter for the electronic mash notes. Your stuff will not look good on Gawker.)
It’s true, the French teacher and Spanish teacher have been removed from their steamy classroom at Brooklyn’s James Madison High, presumably after pulling their shirts back on. And Gatorade has dropped its Tiger Focus sports drink, although execs say that move was planned eons ago, back when “Tiger Woods” meant “upright family man.”
Makes you wonder: Why did Eliot Spitzer quit, anyway?
People still shake their heads when boldfaced rompers are caught with their pants down. It makes for fun headlines and heats up the talk-radio call-in lines. But despite a little eye-rolling for the cameras and a few canned apologies, no one really gets hurt anymore playing these games, except for some unlucky wives and kids.
Even David Letterman’s peppering his monologue with Tiger Woods jokes.
On Thursday, the New Jersey Senate delayed its long-awaited vote on same-sex marriage. Was the tally still fluid in Trenton? Did social conservatives need more time for outrage?
Probably, it was none of that. Maybe the gays just finally asked themselves: Who needs marriage, anyway?
Related posts
