Official Website of Ellis Henican | ‘TIS THE SEASON FOR WHEEZING AND SNEEZING

“This allergy season nothing to sneeze at”, Ellis Henican Column, Newsday,May 15, 2011

Achoo! Achoo!

Sorry, but allergy sneezes almost never arrive alone.

Runny noses. Watery eyes. Scratchy throats. Wheezing and sneezing and then sneezing some more. The experts won’t quite say this is the worst spring ever for airborne allergies on Long Island, even if we’re all convinced. But they’ll admit it’s a prickly season, and there is some genuine science to back that up.

Achoo! God bless you!

A wet, snowy winter was followed by a warm, dry spring. That inundated the growing tree roots, then sent nothing along to wash the pollen away.

What else but allergies could give flowers a bad name? And what exactly is the point of all those allergy reports from TV weathercasters? A high pollen count isn’t like predicting snow or rain. You can’t actually dress for it, and staying inside won’t keep you safe.

Only meds can help. Feed a cold, starve a fever — and drown an allergy in drugs!

Sadly, we can’t all move to Arizona every spring. Puffs with aloe vera can only do so much. For the next couple of weeks at least, we may just have to console ourselves with the knowledge that some people have it even worse than we do. They’re in places like Knoxville and Charlotte and Jackson, according to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America.

As long as we are suffering like this, isn’t it nice to know someone is suffering even more than we are? Yes, allergies do make us cranky. You might have noticed that.

ALLERGIC EAVESDROP

1. Is it still OK to say, “God bless you”?

2. Did the meth cookers buy up ALL the Sudafed?

3. Will you sneeze into your elbow, please?

4. Is that really why your eyes are red?

5. Are you sure the nonprescription Allegra is just as strong?

ASKED AND UNASNWERED:

Those eight beach bodies are the work of three or more killers, not just one? Should that make us feel better – or worse?…Anyone mourning the demolition of West Hempstead’s poorly named Courtesy Motel? Didn’t think so…Amtrak’s derailment cripples LIRR service – and the LIRR pays the repair bill? What was Bruce McIver thinking way back when?…$3.7 billion – with a B – in Long Island school debt? Isn’t it nice students are learning mathematical concepts like “compounding interest” and “up to our eyebrows.”… When baseball commissioner Bud Selig said “I have great confidence” in Mets financial advisor Steve Greenberg, did he accidently forget to mention his great confidence in principal owner Fred Wilpon? Or was the oversight intentional?…Is this Steven Spucces’ way of welcoming new folks to town? “Avalon Bay and high-density housing is a cancer,” the Greater Huntington Civic Group leader (and future Welcome Wagon greeter?) said outside Town Hall on Thursday. “This cancer will move through our town and grow.”…Can this marriage be saved: Supervisor Sean Walter and Riverhead Republicans?…Which was sleazier? Jamie Holland allegedly trying to sell a load of stolen Boston Red Sox memorabilia? Or his telling Bohemia-based Lelands.com he needed the money for a sick kid’s medical bills? DA Tom Spotta says there is no kid….What odds would you give Ed Mangano’s new Belmont casino? Long ones, right? Especially after that cold shoulder from state overseers…A garage sale in Muttontown? Why doesn’t Alicia Keys just give her cast-off stuff to charity? Does she really need the money?

THIS WEEK’S NEWS IN SONG:

The Kinks – “Hay Fever”

I got, hay fever blocking up my brain
Hay fever, feel the sinus pains
And all the pills and the powders are in vain
Thought I was cured but here it comes again
← Listen here

LONG ISLANDER OF THE WEEK

JOHN MARKS

No, it’s not his money. But John Marks is suddenly in a rare and generous mood. As Nassau County’s commissioner of traffic and parking violations, he is overseeing a 45-day amnesty period for parking tickets issued before Jan. 1 of last year. You’ll still have to the pay the original fine. But all additional penalties are being waved. And with an aggressive new boot-and-tow program set to launch July 1, this may be Long Island’s best automotive bargain since gasoline was, oh, maybe $3.50 a gallon. All the way back then.