Official Website of Ellis Henican | TREES 3D: DAMAGING, DESTRUCTIVE, DEADLY

“Henican:Trees weapons of mass destruction?” , Newsday, September 19, 2010

The thunder and the lightning deliver all the drama. But it’s the trees that change peoples’ lives.

We learned that again on Thursday as a freak storm blew across Queens and Long Island, leaving fallen trees everywhere. No, we’re never more than a downed tree away from a paralyzed morning or evening commute.

Here’s the tree toll this time: Fallen trees crippled the Long Island Rail Road, sending two full rush hours into chaos. A tree fell at LIE exit 24, clogging the Midtown Tunnel with five excruciating hours of gridlock.

Come on, doesn’t that change how you feel about shade?

Trees that deliver tragedy? Buffeted by the storm, a 30-year-old Pennsylvania woman pulled her car off the Grand Central Parkway – and was promptly killed by a falling tree. Truly, these trees are deadly weapons.

Wth all the trees we have around here, it’s a wonder we ever get anywhere. It’s a wonder the death toll isn’t even higher than it is. And what can be done to cure it? Not much, besides cutting up the timber after they fall and dragging the pieces away.

The LIRR is especially vulnerable. The tracks run past thousands and thousands of trees. Despite the efforts of tree-trimming work crews, there are always rotting branches one stiff breeze from the ground. And it can take hours to get a single tree off the tracks.

And as the we learned again, the roads are vulnerable too. They don’t have much more of a tree-down Plan B.

Already, the traffic is packed so tightly. Already, the cars have few other places to go.One oak branchs across a busy stretch of highway? Tens of thousands of drivers get stranded with no warning at all.

TREE ISLAND

1. Tree-lock

2. Tree-alysis

3. Tree-cast

4. Tree-quake

5. Tree-ado

ASKED AND UNANSWERED:

Are Hamptons real-estate prices still going down? That depends. Do you count Jerry della Femina slicing $5 mil off th $40 million asking price on his oceanfront East Hampton estate?…Is this the latest trend in home burglaries, West Sayville thieves grabbing childhood meds? Lock up the St. Joseph’s! Now!….Illegal cigarettes sales on the Poospatuck reservation? Hard to believe, right? What do you mean “caught on tape”?…Does the the House of Tattooing in Rocky Point sound like the kind of place Pagans would plot revenge on Hells Angels? What do you mean, “Maybe it does”?…What would happen if someone came to an MTA fare-hike hearing – and spoke IN FAVOR of the hike? Would the whole room fall suddenly silent?…One of every 710 LI homes in foreclosure? Hate to be heartless here, but does that sound high to you?…How soon ’til Victor Alfaro-Marquez ends up on one of those dumb-criminal shows? He was only pretending to be a DEA agent when he pulled over a real cop, (real) cops say….Do candidates who put up campaign signs have any responsibility to take them down after election day? Not so you’d notice this week. Lots of wooden stakes flying around in Thursday night’s storm…What would be the right age to let children hock their parents’ precious things?…Is Suffolk Legislator DeWayne Gregory issuing (a) insightful critiques of County Exec Steve Levy or (b) “paranoid delusional rants.” Levy aide Mark Smith votes (b)….If the LIRR can have an official rapping doctor and an official book-writing dog,what about an official meterologist? That might actually do commuters some good…Free this Wednesday night at 7? Come by the Half Hollow Hills Community Library, 55 Vanderbilt Pky, Dix Hills. We’ll tell some stories. We’ll argue some politics. Somehow, we’ll entertain each other.

ELLIS’ LONG ISLANDERS OF THE WEEK

THE CLEAN-UP CREWS

It’s a testament to LI’s entreprenial spirit. Either that, or proof that lots of poeple need work. We see it after every snow storm. We saw it Friday morning too. When nature goes crazy, people go to work. And thank god for them. By now, you can hardly tell that anything blew through.