MARKET WATCH COLUMNIST
Ellis Henican Column, Newsday,April 24, 2011
The murky portrait of the sadist is hard not to be fascinated by.
But does it tell us anything useful? Really, is all the conjecture even close to being right? Until an arrest is made and a case is proven, no one can possibly know for sure–whatever confident pronouncement the police and freelance profilers might offer up.
The “Long Island Serial Killer” – even the name carries with it certain assumptions: That one person is responsible for the death of at least eight and maybe more. That he – it’s always a he, right? – is behaving according to a certain logic or plan, no matter how twisted that logic or plan may be.
How much does this really narrow things down?
A white man no older than his middle-40s, married or with a steady girlfriend. Educated. Well spoken. Driving an expensive car. With social 
skills sufficient to get these Craigslist escorts to meet him with their guard down. Him getting some sick thrill from his murderous spree, making those taunting phone calls to the victims’ families from locations carefully chosen for their difficulty to trace.
Despite it all, as far as the real investigators are concerned, he is still UnSub, the Unknown Subject.
And for now at least, that is who he is likely to remain.
RAINY MONTH, SILVER LINING
1. Allergies not as bad as last year.
2. No water-shortage threats.
3. Extra couch-sitting TV time.
4. Losing-team, game rain-outs.
5. Big savings at the car wash.
ASKED AND UNANSWERED:
Can this marriage be saved: LIRR and Amtrak, snuggling close in Penn Station?…Friday was Earth Day? And that’s the 
best weather Mother E could arrange?…Snooki’s sudden svelte-ness: Real or Photoshopped? Even her biggest fans aren’t so sure… How happy was James Frey to be back on “Oprah” with “Three Cups of Tea” fabricator Greg Mortenson in the liar-writer hotseat now?…One serial killer or two?…Is Lindsay back in the “Gotti” movie just to be rubbed out again?….Which
Gold Coast headline rules? “Land’s End’s End”? Or “Great Gatsby’s Not-So-Great Sequel”…Bayou Syosset? Is Mara’s Homemade, the East Village outpost of authentic Louisiana cuisine, really moving to Jericho Turnpike?… “Growing Up Gotti,” “Growing Up Twisted” and “Growing Up Gold Coast”: How come LI-based reality shows keep starting with “Growing Up”? And wouldn’t “Not Growing Up at All” be a more accurate name?…Is the Internet what’s cutting recycling on LI (less paper, less to recycle)? Or is sorting laziness more to blame?…How ’bout this promotion for LI hotels this high-gas summer: “You Can’t Afford to Drive Anywhere FAR!”…Why should cops get all the crime-fighting glory? Nice to see LIRR workers keep burglary suspect Max Schneider of Dix Hills on board a Brooklyn-bound train…
LONG ISLANDERS OF THE WEEKS
The Real Cops
While the retired FBI agents and profilers-with-book-deals are off opining on cable TV, someone has to do the actual 
police work. The Son of Sam case was cracked when a beat cop noticed a car and a parking ticket. The Long Island Serial Killer will likely be busted on some similarly routine piece of police work. On Friday, investigators from Nassau County and the State Police found two teeth north of Ocean Parkway, just a couple of feet from where a skull was found earlier this month. Will those teeth be a crucial clue? Will the skull? Will some other small piece of evidence prove decisive? This much is certain: Real evidence makes real cases. Someone has to gather and interpret it. That’s what real cops do.
E-mail ellis@henican.com.
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Yeah, I agree – the Long Island Serial Killer will likely be captured during some routine piece of police work.