Official Website of Ellis Henican

“Swine Flu Comes Back with a Harden Punch,” Ellis Henican Sunday Column, Newsday, 5-17-09

Wait, wasn’t the swine flu supposed to be finished?

For two solid weeks there, we’d breathed a nice sigh of relief. This pandemic wasn’t the pandemic. H1N1 was half a virus of hype. And we were turning our limited attention, as we always do, to fresh, hot fevers in the news – Obama and the Catholics, Benedict and the Jews, Nancy Pelosi and whatever you think just might be the truth.

The good news was we weren’t getting sick.

Well, try telling that to Mitchell Wiener, an assistant middle-school principal in Hollis, Queens. You can tell him just as soon as he gets off his ventilator, which everyone at IS 238 is hoping comes soon. Just when this illness was supposedly over, Wiener is battling a dire case. Now his school is closed for a week at least, as are two others near by, while a swiftly fading virus suddenly pops up again.

You see? That’s the way it is with these public health situations. The experts can offer guidelines about the precautions worth taking – and the ones that are probably a waste of time. (Yes to the hand-washing, no to the surgical masks.) But whatever the experts and the media say, these infectious diseases have minds of their own.

Finished? Not quite! It’s on to Queens – and beyond?

One day, when the epidemiologists and the demographers have finished their study, everyone will know. We’ll know where this disease was hatched. We’ll know how it spread around. We might even know why it was this bad – but not any worse.

Until then, we can hope for the healthy, pray for the sick, refuse to stop living and keep washing our hands.

Feel better, Mr. W. Feel better soon.

REAL MONTAUK MONSTERS
1. Overzealous parking agents
2. Secessionist blowhards in the bar
3. Realtors who haven’t heard 2007 is over
4. Boom-boxers on the beach
5. Everybody else’s car

TRAGIC TRIPLE PLAY: Not only was he driving drunk, not only did he slam his car into a Suffolk police officer on Commack Road, killing the cop, prosecutors now say Jose Borbon was talking on his cell phone at the time of the crash. Given all that, defense lawyer William Petrillo clearly has his hands full, even if the cop was speeding without his emergency lights.

ELLIS’ BOOK CLUB: No wonder there’s a bridge named in his honor. Thaddeus Kosciuszko planned the Battle of Saratoga, designed the blueprints for West Point, tried to buy and free Thomas Jefferson’s slaves and got ceremonial objects from the chief of the Miami Indians as an early battler for Native American rights. Imagine how famous he’d be if Americans could actually spell his name. With “The Peasant Prince: Thaddeus Kosciuszko and the Age of Revolution” (St. Martin’s/Dunne), Alex Storozynski finally gives the colorful Polish general the sweeping biography he deserves. Only George Washington has more statues in his honor across the U.S., and you still can’t get from Queens to Brooklyn on the GWB.

ASKED AND UNANSWERED: Who are the lucky ones? The struggling Long Island Chrysler dealers who are still open for business – or the four whose dealership contracts are being yanked by Detroit? . . . Where would Nassau police be if Nassau criminals weren’t so dumb? Would they still be looking for iPhone robbery suspect Michael Compass, who – duh – allegedly left his keys at the crime scene in Uniondale? . . . What does Loch Ness have that the Montauk Monster doesn’t? Anything but a bigger PR budget? . . . “Innocent until proven guilty” is the rule at the courthouse, right? Is it also the rule in election booth? Alleged tax evader (and now Nassau Legislature re-election candidate) Roger Corbin will find out the hard way . . . What theory of politics explains this: Bloomberg cuts city services – and watches his approval ratings go UP? . . . What could drag royal party boy Prince Harry to Long Island during his brief New York stay? Whaddaya mean he’ll be too busy at the city’s gardens and museums? . . . What exactly is the red-light difference between “Erotic Services” and “Adult Services” on Craigslist? Exactly $10, right? . . . If mob princess Victoria Gotti really does lose her Old Westbury mansion to foreclosure, will its colorful pedigree diminish or increase the bank’s asking price? And what – or who – is buried out back? . . . Fifty million dollars for a Sandcastle? Isn’t the big pile doomed in a market like this, even with 14 bedrooms, 19 baths and 11 acres in Bridgehampton? . . . Did anyone on the copy desk suggest “1-800-MURDER”? I sure hope not. . . Who has a better book title than Charles Grodin’s “How I Got to Be Whoever It Is I Am”? The comic actor and liberal activist – that’s who he is – is interviewed by Ray Bertolino on Monday at 12:30 p.m. on WHPC/90.3 . . . The New York Majesty of the Lingerie Football League: serious sporting franchise or cheap publicity stunt? After the Freeport tryouts, some male fans are shouting: “Who cares! Go Majesty!”