“In Death, Jacko’s Flaws ‘Beat It,'” Ellis Henican Sunday Column, Newsday, June 28, 2009, p. 2
Never speak ill of the freshly dead.
So deeply embedded is that dictum, people attend funerals of relatives they hated and priests deliver eulogies for mobsters and hoods.
Well, watch as the dictum is tested now.
Michael Jackson was a talented but tormented man who may have committed unspeakable acts. Those are just facts.
He was charged with, though never convicted of, child molestation. He paid large sums to settle civil suits. The complainants left much to be desired, but their evidence was disturbing for sure. Even people in Hollywood, who don’t shock easily, were shocked to hear Michael defend sharing his bed with boys.
And when he died, all of this was part of who he was.
So how did his fellow entertainers react? According to the dictum, of course.
“I can’t stop crying,” Diana Ross said, through tears presumably.
“He was my friend,” Whitney Houston added.
“My heart goes out to his children,” Mariah Carey agreed.
Barack Obama took a more nuanced path. Calling Jackson “a spectacular performer” and “a music icon,” the White House issued no formal written statement. And news secretary Robert Gibbs noted pointedly that he had “aspects of his life that were sad and tragic.”
By the lights of the never-speak-ill rule, this was almost a slam.
Leave it to Paris Hilton, rarely one for nuance, to remain unequivocal in her Twitter post. “Love you, Michael,” she wrote. “You will truly be missed by the entire world.”
Whew. Dictum secure.
STILL NOT FRIENDS
1. Paterson and the Senate
2. Barack and Mahmoud
3. Suozzi and what he used to think
4. The internet and all this traffic
5. Jacko and the hidden truth
MAN OF GOD: Man of Fists. Michael Lohan, Christian minister and pugnacious celebrity dad, is now 2-0 on the celebrity boxing circuit. That’s since his second-round TKO at the Ramada Philadelphia Airport against reality-TV loudmouth Jonny Fairplay. “I was throwing a punch, and he ducked right into it,” shrugged Lindsay’s bellicose pop. Next up? Celebrity lawyer (and celebrity brawler) Chris Seeger, who says he’s itching to put a 1 after that 2, but Lohan’s ducking him? All the new CBF welterweight champ’s committing to now is “an August title defense in Atlantic City.” Lindsay must be proud.
CHARBROILED: Please, don’t expect me at dinner Wednesday. At lunch Thursday, either. I’ll still be stuffed after judging the Fairway Firefighters Food Face-Off at the Nassau Firefighters Museum in Uniondale. Five firehouse teams. Ribs and burgers on the grill. Some secret ingredient from the Plainview Fairway. Hype for the museum and bragging rights. Fellow gourmands include master butcher Ray Venezia, museum chief Angelo Catalano, Boulevard magazine’s Angela Anton and KJOY’s Kim Berk. Get me to the gym at once!
ASKED AND UNANSWERED: I know the sun-tanned techies are excited – but Wi-Fi at Overlook Beach? So now I’m expected to check my e-mail even at the beach? . . . If stealing a car for fun is known as “joyriding,” what’s it called when two teens are arrested aboard an 18-foot Boston Whaler after taking Marine Bureau officers across Huntington Harbor on a high-speed chase? Perhaps Nicola D’Ancona of Glen Cove and Angelo Ruggier of Old Brookville can think of terms besides, “Not guilty, your honor.” . . . After Mark Sanford, will “time alone to write” be code for “I’m hiding out with my mistress”? . . . A “coke snorting, staff-banging governor”? But what does Sen. Kevin Parker really think of David Paterson?…Another “large-scale narcotics bust” in Suffolk, Nassau and Queens – so will this be the one that actually makes drug addicts quit using drugs? Anyone have any fresh thinking on the drug war?. . . Who’s the next Sheldon Gross, the suburban-theater legend who co-founded Westbury Music Fair? Sorry, that’s a trick question. There’ll never be another Shelly, now dead at 88 . . . How many strapped homeowners are pleased to hear Christie Brinkley can’t unload her house, either? Think the investment-savvy Billy Joel and Peter Cook ex might have to trim the 30 mil she wants for the 12-bedroom Bridgehampton spread? . . . Did Antonia Novello take the “servant” part too literally? The former state health commissioner admits she made her civil servants pick up her laundry and ferry her on shopping sprees . . . Anyone still believe Andrew Cuomo isn’t running for governor? Paterson’s approval rating is now lower than Sanford’s.